Anticynical #5: Plurality of Values
Plurality of Values, Obligatory Tattoo.
Hi friend 👋,
Welcome to the fifth edition of Anticynical! In the previous edition, I wrote about the importance of a vocabulary of values.
The idea in today’s edition is plurality of values.
Idea: Plurality of Values
In a nutshell: selecting a single value as the way you measure your life—no matter how virtuous it may seem, and at the expense of other values—is a terrible strategy.
I've seen people, including myself, falling into the trap of using a singular value, or a small group of related values, as the thing of prime importance in our life. To be clear, it's not like we ever explicitly claimed that we were following a value this way. We just acted like we did.
In my early twenties, I was hyper-focused on productivity and optimization. I excelled at things with clear metrics and almost immediate feedback, allowing for smooth optimization. I got near-perfect scores on standardized tests and excellent grades at grad school.
But in the absence of clear and immediate feedback, I struggled. I did not build any fulfilling relationships or friendships. I almost didn't get a job after graduating. I did not engage in many hobbies or other activities.
This hyper-focus on productivity also shifted my psychology in a pernicious way. Anything I could not optimize easily frustrated me. Over time, this frustration led to me valuing those things less. Thus, the quest to optimize my life undermined itself by excluding important areas of my life.
I'm sure you can think of at least a few people who clearly place too much emphasis on a single value (consciously or not) and create unnecessary suffering. Parents who take compassion too far can become obsessive and overprotective. Friends who revel a little too much in novelty and adventure might lack lasting satisfaction. Colleagues who trust too easily find themselves duped often.
I believe embracing a plurality of values is key to living a fulfilling life. A plurality of values means that you recognize that many things in life are important and worth pursuing and that these things can often be in tension with one another. For example, the value of honesty might conflict with the value of loyalty in certain situations. In these cases, you must find a way to balance these values.
Embracing a plurality of values also means you are open to the idea that your values can change over time. What was important to you in your 20s might be less important to you in your 30s or 40s. And that's okay.
The important thing is to be aware of your values and to reflect on them regularly. Having a vocabulary for values can significantly enhance this reflection and increase your self-awareness of the plurality of your values.
Question: If you had to get a tattoo, what would it be?
What would be the reason/motivation behind getting that tattoo? Just aesthetics? Or a symbolic reminder?
If you already have a tattoo (or more), what made you go for it?
I’d love to hear from you…
What is a recent situation where you found many of your important values at odds with each other? How did you resolve the situation?
Tell me about your tattoo. Will you regret getting that tattoo many years from now?
Or anything else at all. Just hit reply.